#1- Too much text. People are BUSY. Don't get too fancy with large words, extra research or over analyzing situations before they happen. Be concise and to the point. If an investor is interested he or she will ask you for the details.
#2- Lax in research. You don't want to include too much text but you don't want to skip on the research. Investors like numbers and data. It helps them predict their ROI. So, include the research and cite it, too. Don't say "according to studies"- note the studies!
#3- Don't focus on the products or services. I know this sounds strange, but it works. Focus on how your products or services solves a customers's problem. If you talk too much about your product is wonderful and you fail to explain why it is wonderful- your business plan will not be convincing.
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